It's been a long time since I posted in this blog.It's been a longer time since I foolishly and unconsciously pushed people away from me.It's given me time to sort things out,keeping my distance.Or so I thought.Once you start getting into the world again,the confusion starts all over again.I guess it's just like a long run.Either you walk and you get nowhere after a long time,but you don't feel the pain and the brainscrambling that comes with the sprinting,or you sprint and you get somewhere,dealing with the pain with pure determination.Never is a fixed answer.
There are many things I learnt in the Long Long Time,but only a few sure facts.First,and most obviously and certainly,standing far away to gain perspective is never a solution.As much as you understand everything that's happening for the moment when you stand far away,you can't do anything about it.As you move closer again,the perspective you gained probably doesn't account for all that much because EVERYTHING'S CHANGED.Even though I don't like getting blindsided by life,I'm gonna have to do it all over again.Again, and again.Because distancing yourself never works.
Second,I realized after reading people's blogs and facebook pages,I regret not being able to play a part in many people's lives,the result of my self-distancing.For a brief moment,I was Dead to the World.I saw many New Things happening.I missed those new things happening.I played truant and now I'm behind everyone in class.I missed the important people whom some people met,I missed the Events that changed many people in many ways.I missed the Subtle Processes that I would have so appreciated otherwise,that changed those important people.Reunions,meetings,breakups,everything.What I would give to have a part in the Events.
Third,details matter.This really obvious fact came to me because I couldn't do my C4 correctly.Gosh.Takes a maths test to wake me up to something I'd known subconsciously for 18 years but never practiced.Don't Skip Steps.Simple way to score in C4.Or p/4 becomes 16y somehow and you're totally screwed.Worse,skipping steps in Life.Ignoring what you don't understand or don't want to understand or find a waste of time means you'll keep going in circles in neatly drawn Venn diagrams,never expanding the blurred edges.
(Your life)⊆(what it could be),except you won't realize that,because (what you know about what your life could be)⊆(what it could be) in equal proportions.This is true for everyone anyway.
Lastly,and most importantly.I love writing.And I intend to keep it that way.
